Agency sucks sometimes!

We have a family member who has difficulty making decisions. Well, he makes them easily enough, they are just all wrong. Lately, he has begun a downward spiral that is dizzying to watch. Without hanging dirty laundry up for display...I have had to sit by this morning and watch him make some very foolish decisions.

There is nothing that I can do. I just wish sometimes that I could make decisions for him. Kind of like training wheels on a bike...just to teach him how to do it. I sat this morning and listened for an hour about his probation officer and the pending warrant for his arrest. I told him simply, "It will be easier if you turn yourself in." He decided not to.

I just feel so helpless. I want to do something, anything to help. But I can't. He is an adult. He has the agency to choose for himself.

It made me think, How many times does our Father in Heaven stand by and watch us ignore his words to make foolish choices in our lives. How much heartache and sadness is caused by those of us who think that we know better. I am certain, just like me, he cries tears of pain as we pig-headedly ignore his council. He does it because he loves us and because we were given the gift of agency, the freedom to choose.

It doesn't make it any easier. All of us want to make life easier for our children and family. We help them because we love them. As parents and family, it is so hard to let our children fail.
I can only empathize with his parents. It's hard for me, I can't imagine what they are going through.

Sometimes it's necessary to let someone who you love fail. Wow, that's hard to say. Especially when failing involves jail time and a permanent record.

Really, what else can you do? As long as they have agency, they can make the wrong choice. Choices have consequences.
It really is pretty cut and dry, but it's different when it's your family.

Our church teaches that the family is the nucleus of everything. Everything is centered on the family. I was raised in a family where you do whatever you can to help whoever you can. That's just what you do. It's part of being a family.

I have a hard time when what's best is to refuse help to a family member.
In my case, I had turn this family member away...He wanted to stay with us for awhile.

I know I do have the agency to choose, and I know that my decision was right.
It doesn't make me feel any better.

Indiana Jones

We went to see Indiana Jones tonight. I must say after all of the reviews I read...I wasn't expecting much. I was pleasantly suprised! It was strange...but I was entertained! (Strangely entertained, but entertained none the less!) I don't know if my standards were too low...(This is the first movie that Layton and I have been able to see together in almost three years) But I really really liked it. I don't want to give anything away...but it was fun!

Good things

So I found out yesterday that this lady was getting rid of all of this scrapbook stuff. I did have to drive to freakin' Lindon...but I got boxes and boxes of sizzix die cuts and lots of other cool things! It was happy. I have a lot to do today, and I am a little behind from driving to Lindon....but hey...I got cool stuff!

*sigh*

It was SO nice to have the day off. We went and just ran around as a family, but it was so nice to be able to spend time with my family! I ran into my friend Elise which was crazy-weird. It was the first time I've seen her new baby in person...and he's already 5 months old!!! After that We all went to my parents house for aweseome bbq sandwiches. I mean we all...as in my family! Every one else punked out, but it was still fun. NOW... Well, it's back to school tomorrow.

The worth of a sticker

We have struggled and struggled to get Logan to actually sit on a toilet, let alone use it. My mom suggested we give him stickers. Honestly I thought to myself, "Wow, bribery...like I haven't thought of that!"
Now, he's not actually peeing on the toilet, but he is sitting on the toilet and at least humoring me. It was actually quite frustrating because I told him he can't pee in his underwear, so he went 12 hours without going potty. All I can say is...If you can hold it for 12 hours...you should be potty trained!!!
Each time as he said "I sit on potty now!" I thought to myself "Wow, all for a stupid sticker!" When he fills the chart, he gets a pizza party. He knows he's not allowed to touch the sticker book until he earns one, then he gets to pick one out. Over the day today, he has earned 6 stickers.
I was working until just a second ago, when I heard these little feet creeping down the steps and I knew that obviously Layton fell asleep before Logan. I looked up and said "What honey?" He ran to me and jumped into my arms and put a sticker at the end of my nose. I said "Did you get into mommy's sticker book?" He said "No momma, it's mine!" I looked down to see this little sticker that had been pulled off by those little fingers, it was bent and not quite sticky...but it was his prize, he earned it. I said "Honey, you earned that, it's for your pizza party." He said simply, "I'll get more tomorrow. I am so proud of you momma! It's for that, cause I'm proud." What a precious little man. I guess he gave me a taste of how special a sticker can make you feel.

It's ok to say no!

I must say I absolutely love my visiting teachers. They came and visited yesterday and talked essentially about balancing life. I was feeling fine yesterday. Today I am feeling totally overwhelmed. I had a disagreement with a family member...long story short, I woke up with a migrane this morning. I have a lot of things to do. I need to finish up a work assignment, go to the store, visit a friend who recently had surgery and do some homework. Plus, clean the house and make dinner.
Normally, I would have a really bad attitude about the tasks that I am going to do. But the message yesterday was in essence "It's ok to say no." How cool is that. Really it's pretty basic. I don't know why it's so hard to tell anyone no. I do have a problem with that. When someone calls and says "Do you have time to____?" Even if I don't have time, I would never dream of telling them how busy I am. How dumb is that?
I think that is something that's ingrained in women though. It's like this strange motherly service gene...don't know.
So just for anyone who has anything they want me to do today....I'm listening to my visiting teachers. Today...I'm going to say NO!
(Well, unless...it's something you really need.)

All things potty....

Ok, Logan turned 3 at the beginning of April. He has had absolutely no interest in potty training. My doctor has simply said "If he fights you on it, wait...don't force him." That's easy for him to say! He's not getting the pressure from all directions. I can't tell you how many times people say to me "Well, it's all you. You have to train yourself to take him." (Like I don't spend half of my day trying to get him to use the stupid potty!!!!) Also equally annoying "Well ____ is just about his age and he/she is totally potty trained." (Like I'm the worst mom ever because my kid doesn't quite get it) I have tried to gently get him to do it, but it has been met with equal resistance.
Today I made the goal that Logan is going to wear only "big boy pants" and we were going to get this done. He is still laying on the floor screaming "You're terri-bo(terrible). I want my DADDY!"
I am starting to think that this is never going to happen.
Does anybody have any tips or ideas?