New calling

Ok, so I got a new calling on Sunday. I am the new activity day leader for the 8-11 year old girls. I'm a little overwhelmed with the calling. I have no information about the program and I don't really know exactly what I'm supposed to do. Inspite of all of that, I'm so excited to have a calling and to have such a fun age group!
Logan got selected to take home "licorice" the black bear puppet. Licorice is supposed to go along with Logan for every activity. Because the first 3 pages of activites logan drew were pictures of us "driving in the car" and "us in a cart at the store" and "driving home from the store" I decided unless we wanted to appear to be amish boring, we had better do something fun this weekend. Logan and Jonah slept at grandma and grandpa's house on friday and they got in the hot tub. So that was a good picture for Logan to draw. On Friday, I went to one of my best friends fathers funeral. After that I took the boys to go to the treehouse museum and out for ice cream. It was overall a pretty fun day. (I'll post some pics of the kids and licorice.)
Just on a side note, the funeral for Donald Holman was a very difficult thing for me to attend. It was hard to see my friend suffer. It was so hard for her sweet little boys, but even more than that...it brought a realization that life is short, we are all mortal, and we can lose our parents or loved ones at any time. I am so thankful for the knowledge that families are forever. I am comforted by the plan of salvation and in knowing that we will all be a family in the life after this one.

Thundercats HO!

Ok, so I just wanted to talk about my favorite thing that Jonah does. Jonah has been fully indoctrinated with a love of Thundercats. Anything that is stick-like becomes the "sword of omens" and he'll pick it up and say "Thundercat, thundercat, thundercat HO!" It is just the cutest thing. I have been trying to get pictures of it for weeks to no avail.

Family home evening

I have decided that we don't spend enough time having fun around here, so last night for family home evening, we made home made rootbeer. It was delicious, but it made 5 gallons. I have no idea how I am going to consume all of this rootbeer!!! The boys had the best time watching the dry ice bubble this witches brew looking drink. Logan kept saying some weird chant from Thundercats which was pretty funny.
My kitchen is now a sticky mess, but it was a lot of fun! I have spent most of the day today working on our resumes.

Looking for a new job

So Robert and I have worked at Extend Health for the last several months, the problems are just two...1) We have to drive to 106th south every dang day. 2) They are requiring us to work mandatory overtime on satudays....so instead of driving to 106th south 5 days a week, we have to drive 6 days a week. So we're both in the market for a new job. Both of us are licensed in health and life insurance in about 10 different states and appointed by dozens of different insurance companies. Let us know if you know of anything open!!!

Weirdness

Ok, so I had the H1N1 garbage last week. That's really what it is, garbage. Seriously, I've been more sick pregnant for sure. (ok, ok I get the anti-pregnancy shot every couple of months, but still...the H1N1 shot is pointless!)
Anyways, Wednesday I started feeling really dizzy, it's just at times, it comes and goes and I can't really predict when it's going to happen. Sometimes I am standing up, sometimes bending down, sometimes laying down. It's honestly the weirdest thing. Well, last night I passed out and scared the begebees out of Robert. I woke up to him slapping my face and screaming my name at the top of his lungs. Good times. I did pass out two times today and it's really strange. I thought for awhile that it was my blood sugar, because I hadn't eaten much in the past two days, but I have eaten fine since this all started and it is still occurring. I also thought it might be orthostatichypotension (low blood pressure when you stand up basically) I suffered from that during my pregnancies when I wasn't able to keep down fluids. But I've been drinking tons (of water, thank you very much) and still I feel dizzy. I can't really explain it, but hopefully it will get better. I also thought that maybe it could be an inner ear infection because I have had some cold like symptoms, but my ear doesn't hurt....so all in all, it's a little odd...and I'm hoping for improvement.
On a more positive note, I'm really looking forward to the trunk or treat for our ward which is going to be tomorrow. I'm planning on carving pumpkins with the boys either tomorrow night or Saturday, I think that should be really fun. I'll try to remember to post pictures.

Yay for Tuesday

Tuesdays are usually my busiest days. I drop Logan off for school, try to get some work done around the house, and then dash to pick Logan up for school before Robert gets home from work, then I kiss Robert hello/goodbye as I go to my city council meeting (which can last into the wee hours of the night) Then, I have to be up for work Wednesday at 4 am. Yup, it's busy.
Today just started out bad because I woke up to the feeling that there was something or someone breathing on me. I looked up to see Logan leaning over me and he says "Good morning momma!" I looked around and realized that it was light outside already. Somehow, I managed to sleep until 8:35 a.m. Now, I know, that sounds fabulous, but it's not when you have to have your kids and yourself ready to drop Logan off at school at 9 am. I threw a pile of clothes at Logan and said "Hurry, get ready!" Then I jumped in the shower and got ready like a mad woman. We made it with about 4 minutes to spare. To add to the craziness, Logan's coordinator from headstart wanted to come and do a home visit today. I got Jonah in bed for a nap and by 11:30 he was asleep. The coordinator got to our house at 11:30 and instantly Jonah woke up (awesome!) So that lasted no longer than 1 hour, after which, I attempted to put Jonah back down for a nap (yeah, I know, wishful thinking) I decided to make some pasta for dinner because I have council meeting later tonight, and I figured making dinner would give Robert less of an excuse to go get a burger for dinner. So I start cooking meat and garlic and everything and I get done, cover the dinner with saran wrap and put it in the fridge, thinking that I'm just oh, so efficient. I look at the clock at it's 1:37 p.m. 7 minutes after the time that I was supposed to pick up Logan from school. That's right, I forgot my son! I grabbed Jonah, jumped in the car and drove like a maniac to the school. We get there to an empty parking lot. I get in the classroom and there's Logan, sitting on the floor waiting for his name to be called so he could go home (mind you the lights have already been turned off by the teachers.) Yup, it's official, worst mom ever.

Additionally, the coordinator asked if we would be willing to take a step parenting class through Utah State University (the same class we are currently taking for the second time) I told her we have taken it a couple of times already, but she said they want all of the families who are blended families to take it in January, so it looks like we get to take it again. It makes me laugh, Robert will be SO mad!!! Every time we go, he gives me the hardest time because he says I only take the class because they provide dinner and I don't want to cook. (Which IS a definate perk!!!)

RAWR!

So I did it yet again today. I went to church. I went, knowing that I was going to be ignored and unwelcome. I go nearly every week. (I've missed the last 2 because we've had swine flu in our house.)
It's never been easy. I used to look forward to the small glimmer of light I got every week at church. Now, I'm sorry to say that I don't look forward to it. I really dread it. I've been divorced now over a year.
That's when there was a big change. People went from talking to me in the hallways to ignoring me even if I do say hello. (Not all people, but more than a dozen. More than two dozen for that matter.)
I've tried to stay positive, laughing about it and saying that at least I know who my real friends are. That's the truth, my real friends have stuck by me. They've come and talked to me themselves when they've heard rumors, they've been great. It's those others that make me dread Sundays. It doesn't make it hurt any less when I speak to people who once acted as if they were my friend, and they look at me and without any sort of response, walk off.
It's so hard to be divorced, let alone divorced and mormon. It's like having the word "Loser" tatooed to your forehead. It's rough. There's the initial response that you get from everyone "What happened?" (which is none of their business!)
To a random judgement. I'm not sure if it's because I moved on and remarried quickly, or if they just resent me for recognizing that I was never going to be happy in my current situation. I really don't understand what exactly the problem is...but I know that I don't like it.
I really thought I would have the love and support of my ward. It is really hard to go through a divorce. It's not something you can explain in words. It's also even harder to blend a family. Those who haven't been there, will never truly understand what a hard journey that is.
There are a few individuals who have been very sweet, but on the most part, I feel abandoned.
I believe in the church with all of my heart. I know it's true. That's why I keep going. Why I get up Sunday and mentally prepare for what I am going to have to go through. I wish it could be different. I just keep trucking a long, and maybe some day it will be. I hope it will.

that's all, just had to vent a little.