An Update on Jenn

As you all know, my cousin Jennifer has cancer. She had to have a shunt placed in her brain several weeks ago. Apparently having a shunt puts you at a greater risk for spinal meningitis. She has that, and her mom said she is worse than she has ever seen her. The spinal meningitis is growing out of the shunt onto her head. She was crying to her mom that she was so sad that she has missed two months of her little boys life. It's so sad. She may not have much time left, and the last two months of his life, she's missed out on because she is too sick to take care of him. She told her mom that she doesn't know if she can fight anymore, she said she is tired.

My boys have been sick and I have slept very little. Now I have the same crap they had. I can get up and care for them. I may have bad days...but they've never been that bad. I will never complain again!!!

Please pray for Jenn and her family. They've got a lot of trials still ahead of them.

David

As part of my commitment to tell the people who are closest to me that I love them...This section is going to be dedicated to my baby brother David.

David is by far the funniest person I know. My favorite memory of him is...Well, I must explain...Christmas in our house is a cultural event. You must have experienced a Stephens Christmas to understand the magical strangeness of it all. We sing Christmas songs and it is always wonderful! David got the tambourines from his drum set...I remember looking up at this tall lanky guy flailing his arms around like some beatnik and thinking to myself "I love this guy!" He is HILARIOUS! (I have a picture somewhere...if I can find it, I will post it on here)


David, out of all of us, has had the most trials. But he has overcome all of his trials and anything he puts his mind to...he can do. He decided his Junior year of high school that he wanted to play hockey. He didn't ice skate, he had never played the sport...he just wanted to do it. He was on the school team his Junior and senior year. Honestly, he can do anything. He decided he wanted to play the drums. I must admit...I have had a few "drum headaches" but he is now VERY good.

He rides motorcycles and 4-wheelers..honestly, he is the one who makes us all a little more fun. When he's around, we laugh a little more.


I was at my parents house and I walked over to the coffee table and there was sitting this amazing pastel drawing of an airplane. I was amazed. I assumed that because it was airplane based (and my dad's first love after my mom is airplanes, lol) that it had been drawn by my dad. I asked my mom and she said "Oh, that was David, he was messing around."




David is one of those people who...when he has the drive and determination can accomplish whatever he wants. I have always admired that about him.

He acts all rough and tough, but he has one of the most tender hearts. He is so funny with my boys.

We may fight sometimes, but really I think that is because we are so similar.
I just love this boy. I worry about him, and hope for the best for him.



(Photos on this post were stolen from David's myspace page..sorry for the lack of quality...they were most likely taken by a camera phone)



TO DAVID ONLY...DAVID ONLY READ THIS!
I know that I don't tell you enough, but I am so proud of you and I love you! I know that you have struggled in your life, but I am so proud of all of your accomplishments. You are such an amazing person! I am so thankful to have you as my brother.

YAY FOR LISA!!!!

Lisa called me yesterday and said she and Brandon wanted to "borrow" Logan for the afternoon. They are taking him to the zoo! How nice is that! So Jonah is sleeping now and I am relaxing. I almost feel guilty. I keep imagining them hauling Logan all over the zoo...with the smell of animal feces in the air. (I said ALMOST feel guilty) But what an awesome sister! It's so nice because I may have an hour our so to study for my final on Monday.

Golden Spike

Ok, I already know it's going to be a two post night...forgive me for not posting this yesterday...it's been busy. Yesterday we went to the re-enactment of golden-spike. It was the 139th anniversary of the event. I must admit that I went solely because my Grandma and Grandpa guilted me into it. I made myself have fun...but Logan loved it. (It was very very boring) It would have been less boring if we had gotten the correct start time. They told us the event started at 11. When in reality, they started at 12:30. It was hard. The boys were fussy...I was a little annoyed (We arrived on time...everyone else arrived promptly at 12:30...So I was guilted in being there...but those who guilted me were not.) Funny. It was ok. The boys had a blast. I bought them these cute little engineer hats and these little wooden trains and we got to spend some good time with My uncle Layne and Aunt Cynthia and their kids. It was so fun to get to see them. (They live in St. George, and we haven't gotten to spend time with them. This visit was my first time meeting all of their kids. It was great) We went to Maddox for dinner following and I must say...the food kind of sucked. (Ok, it really sucked. I must say, if I have the choice, I won't eat there again.) Over all it was pretty fun. Exhausting, but pretty fun.

My mom

Well, it's nearly Mother's day. As part of my commitment to tell my family members that I love them...this section is all about my mom.
My mom is not like any mother I have ever known. I actually never really noticed all that she did until one of my friends came to stay with us while I was a senior in high school. After staying with us two days my friend asked me, "When does your mom sleep?" I asked her what she was talking about. She told me that she had gone to bed after midnight, and my mom was still up doing laundry (I didn't know that because I was sleeping) and we had to get up at around 5:30 to catch the bus, and mom was up getting things ready for us.
Thats how my mom is. She is the anonymous giver of service. I remember as a kid standing in line in the grocery store while my mom talked to a lady standing in line like she was a long lost friend. After we left I remember asking "Who was that?" and my mom said "I don't know."
She is just like that. She can talk to ANYBODY! I always admired that about her. More recently, my mom has become the caregiver of my elderly grandma. She still watches my kids for me, takes care of grandma, and she still has kids living at home. She is amazing. More than that. Through her love and service, she has helped to make all of us better people. My mom still works full time, but she does it from home so that she can care for my grandma. That says a lot about her right there. I think a huge problem in our society is that so many people are willing to just dump their elderly family members in a nursing home. It has really been a blessing to all of us kids to be able to spend more time with grandma, in what I'm sure are the latter years of her life. (she's 90)
I look up to my mom so much. In my eyes, she is really the perfect mother. I was a bratty, bratty teenager. When I was 12 I thought that it was really the thing to be rebellious. It is because of how my mom handled that whole situation that I am the person that I am today. I owe her a huge debt of gratitude, and I definately don't tell her enough, but I love you mom!

(author's note: Due to the lack of nice pictures of my mom...I have opted to post a picture of a flower rather than a bad picture)

Just thinkin'

"I have to believe no matter how good or bad things are, I can change it."
That's what the sign on the old riverdale theaters said as I drove past today.

I've had a lot on my mind today. With my cousin Jennifer dealing with brain cancer, and my grandpa recovering from a stroke, I have been thinking a lot about the things that we don't say that we often should.

There are so many times I think about how I need to tell my family members that I love them...but sometimes it is awkward. How do you tell your brothers that you love them. Often our dialogue is as follows:

Lauralee: "Hey, What's up?"
Brother: "Eh."
(still brother)"What you doin'?"
Lauralee:"Nothin'"
Lauralee: Pushing brother
Brother: "Fag!"

There is this unspoken sibling code. Translated, it is as follows:
Lauralee: "I'm glad you're here, I haven't seen you in awhile."
Brother: "Yeah, it's nice to spend time together, we always have fun."
Lauralee: "I love you."
Brother: "I love you too."

The problem really is that because I am so comfortable with my family, I expect them to speak my hidden codes. So often I assume that my family knows how much I love them. Why is it so hard to say "I love you," to some of my family members.
I really don't have an answer for that.

I love my Dad, Mom, my Grandma G. and Grandma and Grandpa S. I love my brothers and sisters (Scott & Becky, Lisa & Brandon, and David)and all of my wonderful extended family. I commit now, to be a little better. I am going to post 1 section a week dedicated to those who I love most. I also promise to say it a little more.

I challenge everyone reading this to stop and tell those you care about most how much you love them. You never know when the words you speak to someone will be your last. I certainly hope the last words I say to my loved ones aren't "Fag" or the like.

ARGH!

So after Lisa's graduation, I said to Layton, "I really needed that!" After all of the sad that has been swirling around me, it was so nice to be able to forget everything and laugh and have a good time. I continued to say, "Before this I thought, 'it has to get better, it couldn't get any worse than it has been.'"
I don't know why I say things like that. Anyways, things have gotten a whole lot worse. My grandpa Stephens is in the hospital at this very moment, they think that he has had a stroke.

Lisa Graduates!

My little sister graduated from college today. I am so proud! It was so exciting. Lisa is the first grandchild on the Stephens side to get her degree. YAY LISA!!!

Fighting back tears

Well, I am fighting back tears. It has been this way for a couple of days now.

I guess I should start from the beginning. I have been so lucky my whole life to have my cousin Jennifer as one of my best little friends. We grew up together, and even when things were hard and I didn't have many friends, I always had Jennifer. Growing up we had sleep overs and played my little pony and barbies together. As teenagers we hung out and went dancing. I was with Jennifer when she met her husband Ryan. She is just about a year younger than me, and our lives had always kind of mirrored each other. I got married, a year later, Jennifer got married. I got pregnant and had my little boy Logan, a year later, she got pregnant...During her pregnancy, Jennifer started to have these terrible migranes. Long story short...it was a brain tumor..stage four nasty cancer! She had surgery, and had to have radiation while she was pregnant. Then after her sweet little Noah was born, she had to undergo over a year of chemo. She was cancer free long enough, I started to feel safe. I wasn't prepared for yesterday.

Noah just turned two. Jennifer had to go have a routine MRI and she now has a couple of more tumors growing in her brain. She is scheduled to have surgery again next week. She is still very positive in her prognosis and has a very good attitude in spite of the gloomy circumstances.

I have learned a lot from Jennifer. She taught me how to be myself and not care what others think of me. More recently, she has taught me to fight all of my struggles head-on with courage and honor. I love this girl, more than I can ever express with words. I can't help but cry, the tears just won't stop. I know she has a hard battle in front of her. Jennifer is a fighter, if any one can overcome this, it would be her; but the battle is going to be tough.

Our family is fasting and praying for her family this Sunday, please anyone who is willing please do the same.

I admit, I am a snob

I don't know what it is about public transportation. It brings out the inbreds...that's all I can say. Lisa, my mom, Logan, Jonah, Layton and me...we all load onto this train, with not a seat available. This kind older gentleman and his wife gave up their seats so me and Lisa could sit with the boys. It was very sweet. We had a front row view of this crazy lady who sat on the floor and bawled because she had to sit on the floor. She just kept saying "This is not my idea of fun." super. So then this group of (pardon the political incorrectness) special eddy's sits down. There were about 6 of the most ghetto...most special people, with approximately 16 teeth between them. They screamed at each other from Woods cross to salt lake and then from salt lake to clearfield. I wanted to stab them with a pencil. They had 2 little babies with them, one was screaming her little brains out. I picked up a package of yogos out of my purse and asked the mother "Would your baby want some yogos?" She looked at me very strangely and said "Maybe," and took them from me. The baby continued screaming. I looked back and there is this lady eating her baby's yogos. I HATE PEOPLE! It was an interesting trip, but I will wait to ride it again until they start charging a regular fair...hopefully that will clear out some of the riff-raff. (And yes...I admit it, I'm a snob!)