Monday, May 5, 2008

Just thinkin'

"I have to believe no matter how good or bad things are, I can change it."
That's what the sign on the old riverdale theaters said as I drove past today.

I've had a lot on my mind today. With my cousin Jennifer dealing with brain cancer, and my grandpa recovering from a stroke, I have been thinking a lot about the things that we don't say that we often should.

There are so many times I think about how I need to tell my family members that I love them...but sometimes it is awkward. How do you tell your brothers that you love them. Often our dialogue is as follows:

Lauralee: "Hey, What's up?"
Brother: "Eh."
(still brother)"What you doin'?"
Lauralee: Pushing brother
Brother: "Fag!"

There is this unspoken sibling code. Translated, it is as follows:
Lauralee: "I'm glad you're here, I haven't seen you in awhile."
Brother: "Yeah, it's nice to spend time together, we always have fun."
Lauralee: "I love you."
Brother: "I love you too."

The problem really is that because I am so comfortable with my family, I expect them to speak my hidden codes. So often I assume that my family knows how much I love them. Why is it so hard to say "I love you," to some of my family members.
I really don't have an answer for that.

I love my Dad, Mom, my Grandma G. and Grandma and Grandpa S. I love my brothers and sisters (Scott & Becky, Lisa & Brandon, and David)and all of my wonderful extended family. I commit now, to be a little better. I am going to post 1 section a week dedicated to those who I love most. I also promise to say it a little more.

I challenge everyone reading this to stop and tell those you care about most how much you love them. You never know when the words you speak to someone will be your last. I certainly hope the last words I say to my loved ones aren't "Fag" or the like.

1 comment:

Brandon and Lisa said...

Yes, I have often wondered why some families are so open like Brandon's, everybody loves everybody! But some families are like us, and I've always really wondered about it. But then I decided that's okay, we aren't weird, we just speak in code, like you said! And I think that our family shows that we love each other by the things we do, not the things we say. And ask anyone of us, it's very difficult for all of us to say I love you to any sibling or family member. That being said, confidential to Lauralee: I love you!!