Sunday, May 18, 2008

Struggling

I know, I know! No more depressing posts! (I know that's what you're thinking) I just can't help it. Jennifer is not doing well. Every time I get a second where I'm not totally consumed with thought...I start to think, when I think....I remember all of our good times, when I think of the good times, I think about how much I love that girl. When I remember how much I love her, it is unbearable to think about losing her. Jennifer is in the Neuro ICU. She recieved her first dose of chemo to her brain via a new shunt. Shortly after the dose of chemo, she began to have seizures. As a result of the seizures, her brain began to swell. A few days ago...family was told to come and say good-bye. Now the doctors are saying she may pull through this one. I can't help but cry. I know she needs us all to be strong and have faith...and believe that she can make it, but it's so sad. The tears just flow. I've tried hard this whole week to keep moving, so I don't have to think about it, or deal with it. Now as I sit here (and cry), I can barely breath. Jennifer was always the fun one. My favorite thing about her was some of the funny things that she would say. (My all time favorite is "Holy Fire!" She used to say it all of the time)
Thank you for all of you who have fasted and prayed for Jennifer and her family. Please continue to pray for all of us.
I am stuck somewhere in the hope that maybe, just maybe....she'll beat this, but I know....she probably won't.
Holy fire! I'd give anything....for her to be able to beat this!

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