Confessions of a 29 Year-Old Woman

My sister posted a confessions section on her blog and I have NEVER laughed so hard, so I decided to steal it.


1. In Junior High, this kid moved in in the middle of the year. The kid was named Charlie. I thought he was pretty cute but really quiet. I had a kinda crush on him for about a week until he talked for the first time and I realized that he was a really homely girl.

2. I once stole my parents truck (when I was 16, but had no license) so that I could go to my friend Heather's house and have dinner with her family and the missionaries.

3. When I was pulling the truck back into the garage, I hit the lawnmower and broke the wheel off. I never told my parents, and my dad actually got blamed for it.

4. I have kissed more boys than I am years old. (actual number is 34) tragic, I know. (I'd give anything to see the look of horror on my mom's face right now!)

5. Once my friends and I were at fundaze and found a roll of fake police tape. We started laughing about all that could be done with something like that. We all bought a roll. It was during the time of high school when I was driving a really large old Ford Truck. We got blankets and went to an area where they were working on the road and stole like 30 road flasher sign thingys (official name) then we covered them with the blankets. We used the police tape and the flashers to close of an entire block in sunset. (the block around our other friends house who didn't want to come hang out with us that night) Then we used the police tape and flashers to tape off their house and traced our bodies in the driveway with chalk.

6. My friends and I were total dorks in high school. It was funny, one thing they enjoyed the most was making me look stupid. They would decide a character ie. accent etc that they wanted me to play. Then they'd dress me up like an idiot and we'd go places and I'd have to be the character. For some reason, I was the only one who ever had to play the character. They said it was because they couldn't do accents.

7. I had a boyfriend who broke up with me because I beat him at a video game.

8. My friends and I used to go "cruisin the vard." I was the loud wacky one of the friends so my official duty was to sit in the window sill of the open window and wave or scream at other cars as we drove by. (I know, so dangerous. If it helps, my friend was inside the car holding my legs...like if I fell, that'd hold me)

9. Last week I looked over at a car as I was at a red light by 12th st. in Ogden. I look over and this guy is....licking the window. I burst out laughing. So he lifted up his shirt and pressed his nipple to the window. It was the strangest thing that has ever happended to me, but I laughed my head off.

10. I secretly worry that I am becoming my mother.

11. I accidentally drank a non-virgin margarita once. It's funny because I'm not even a real "soda" girl. I thought they had put sprite in with the mixer. I kept saying "This is the WEIRDEST Combo for a margarita!" Finally, the giant thing was almost gone and my friend Julia said "Let me try." So she took a gulp and said "That's how margaritas are supposed to taste. It's got boos in it." I was so mortified!

12. I've peed my pants (I was pregnant though)

13. I named my son Logan after wolverine in Xmen. My ex-husband didn't find out until we were watching X-men several months later.

14. I have a weakness for shoes. At my peak, I owned nearly 200 pair. I still love a really cute pair of shoes.

15. If I'm not wearing shorts, chances are, I didn't shave my legs.

16. Once while driving my parents truck, my friends and I got lost somewhere in this stupid neighborhood in Layton. I turned and it was a dead-end. I threw the truck in reverse and drove about a half a block backwards. I didn't see a giant brick mailbox behind me and smashed into it. No one was there and I drove off.
My parents noticed that the bumper was kind of bent later, but could never figure out what happened.

I think that's it.